I’m valuable dangit!

I've been thinking about value. And about free patterns. And about knitting of course. I wonder if knitting designers feel pressure to make their designs free. Why? Why should they? Why should they spend hours knitting something, and measuring, and frogging, and making it just so, and then typing up painstakingly perfect directions and then give it away? (Ok, so the directions aren't always perfect. But shut up. It's free.)

I'm starting to feel a whole lot of respect for the designers out there. I've been secretly trying to come up with some stuff, and man, it's tough. Tough with a capital T and a grunt.

I'm feeling kind of useless around the house. The man is dropping hints (ok hint bombs) that maybe I should go back to work. All of my money would be extra and then we could save up for a couple of years, get completely out of debt, buy a house, and then I could quit. Um, yeah. Doesn't he know that folks spend what they earn? I used to get along quite nicely, me and both boys for 25K. Three people, full-time daycare, on 25K. I don't know if I could do that now. Honestly. You spend what you earn. And sometimes more than that. I think the real answer is for me to become a better money manager, and then for me to find somethings to do out of the home to make money. (Knitting design is not on that list. Shoot, it takes too long and there's no guarantee anyone will like what you make.)

And the secret quiet part of all this, is that I don't want to give up another 2 years of my boys' life to some random daycare provider. I lost all the early years already. I'm selfish. I want to be there when they get home from school.